Lifesaving Paper Towel Hacks


Elizabeth Harless, Journalist

On Tuesday, October 3, 2017, President Donald Trump flew down to Guaynabo, Puerto Rico to visit some survivors of Hurricane Maria. President Trump thought it best to bring the survivors some useful supplies to get them back on their feet, since most of their belongings had been destroyed.

Along with a few non perishable food items, he brought with him a large supply of paper towels to give out, because paper towels are used to clean up spills, duh! In honor of President Trump’s amiable attempt to help the Hurricane Maria survivors, here are five ways that paper towels can be used in life other than to just clean up unwanted messes.

  1. Pack breakable items in paper towels when moving to keep them safe! During a hurricane, your belongings are sure to be thrown around, and you don’t want your glass Christmas ornament you made in the 3rd grade to break! Remember to wrap it before you pack it!

  2. Check the shelf life of your old seeds! When returning back to your house after a hurricane has just destroyed your whole town, you find a bunch of seeds are the only things that have survived! Don’t bother wasting your time trying to plant them in hopes that they haven’t “gone bad”, instead, just place a few on a damp paper towel, leave them in the sun for 2-5 weeks and if you see a sprout, you’re good from here on out!

  3. Neatly decorate your cake! Everyone knows that when the hurricane passes, the survivors are required to throw a rager to celebrate life! Cake is an imperative part of this survivor party, and you don’t want to embarrass yourself by bringing a sloppy cake! Smooth out that icing by placing a paper towel over the top of the cake and gently patting it until it is flat. Then, you will definitely be the life of the party!

  4. Clean your nasty can openers! After a hurricane floods your home, there is sure to be some rust on a few of your kitchen appliances, and ew who wants that?! You return home from listening to President Trump tell you how bad the hurricane could of been (apparently Katrina was way worse) with arms full of canned corn and paper towels. But wait! Your can opener is disgusting! Not to worry, take those presidential grade paper towels and run the can opener over it and you’re good to go! Can he fix it? Yes he can!

  5. Fix your greasy sewing machine! The hurricane destroyed your whole wardrobe with its annoying flooding, but not to worry! Break out your old sewing machine from your parents’ closet and start making your own one-of-a-kind fashion line! To make sure no grease gets on your priceless new garments, sew a couple of rows into a paper towel first! Sew much better!